On the first day at a sketchy rope access job I was tasked with descending down a 40 story apartment using a bar and rack system which I was unfamiliar with. I set up some easy anchors above and a directional, teaming with anxiety as before I had rappelled off 60ft quartzite cliffs in baraboo but not 400ft ones. I also glossed over the sunbleached gear I was given that I would have shunned if seen at a crag. I knew how some of the systems worked and I was still scared of the what if's. Later with time and experience I understood the systems at play and felt confident in use with fear having left but remaining in the realm of final destination tier situation.
At some point I was gonna learn rope solo, like with most of climbing I just didn't really know when. I knew it was going to be sooner than later when I had opened a christmas present from my partner containing 3 Andy Kirkpatrick books, the important one being “On the Line:Top Rope Solo Manual” . Like most Andy K literature it was teaming with excessive information that satisfies the perverse likeminded, simple diagrams and the occasional interesting waffling or story, I highly recommend picking up any of Andy K's books. Learning it was possible to TRS with the gear I already had, I set out to practice on a route that had claimed my first lead fall blood and all. When I set up my fixed line and tried out the system, I still had that fear of feeling like I didn't understand the systems and mechanics at play. With an ascender and grigri I took a few falls near the ground and the grigri would quickly catch any falling tug. With a hoist up and few moves above soft ground I tried a few more, gaining a sense of confidence I figured I can try a more severe fall. Leaving a bit of slack of 2M I climbed up, braced, and fell down to earth. Clack, a forceful tug, and I'm ok.